so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
