Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
