can u get pink eye on your cock?
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize