Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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