yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize