I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
