I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
The air taste purple.
Randomize
