I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
