She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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