Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Is it because I queefed?
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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