RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize