she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
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