did you get engaged???
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
