I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize