Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
