Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
