i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Randomize
