that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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