Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
