That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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