I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize