whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Also, beer. Big fan.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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