i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
