My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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