I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
