Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Randomize
