how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Randomize
