do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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