He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I just found puke in my bra..
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Randomize
