i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
