Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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