If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
