so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
