I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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