When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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