She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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