Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
