its not stalking. its research.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
She's the barista slut.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize