I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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