I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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