my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
he shaved USA in his pubs
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Randomize