The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
