i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Randomize
