he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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