i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
