Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
