I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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