Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Then you guys just all showered together...?
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
