Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
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