Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Randomize