i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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