just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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