I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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