It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
It's never too late to be topless.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
