What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
