i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
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