I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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