please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
