he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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