last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
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