then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
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