Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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