Sacagawea was the original milf.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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