And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
